I was reading with some amusement the lengths that some Chinese couples go through to get married before the Tiger Year. 2010 is the year of the tiger in the Chinese calendar, and the Chinese believe that it is not a really good time to get married or give birth to children as they might turn aggressive.
Is this really what we have come to? After so many years, we still believe in such nonsense? How many people will have their lives affected just because they were born in the year of the tiger? How many girls will not be wanted because the men around them are afraid of women born in the year of the tiger?
AHHH! The Tiger!!! So Aggressive!!!! Ahhhhh!
I thought humans are supposed to become more intelligent over time? It seems as if we are still living in the age where people believe the Sun revolves around the Earth or the Earth is flat. Strangely enough, there are other things that we Chinese believe in up till this day.
Let me give you some examples
1) Ghosts roam the Earth during the 7th month on the Chinese calendar. This is the month where the gates of hell open, and the spirits are set free to ‘loosen up’ after spending 11 months in hell. Our parents tell us its not safe to go out late at night, we should not anyhow sit on chairs, or avoid sitting in the last row of the cinema or bus seats. Those things they claim, have ghosts around, in, above or within them
Ghosts are hungry on the 7th month each year... The rest of the year... not so much. Selective nutrition I would say.
During the 7th month when ghosts roam our streets looking for some chow and probably some human solace, does it also mean that ghosts are set free also in Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Iraq, Somalia and England? Are they all set free at the same time? Or do they follow the international time zones and get releases exactly on the start of their respective 7th month? I don’t know, perhaps someone could tell me.
2) Bird’s nest can improve blood circulation.
Bird's nest soup.. Really... really... expensive bird's saliva
I don’t even know how to begin, except to say that everytime I hear a Chinese person claim that bird’s nest gives health benefits, I feel like I want strangle myself. First of all, the nest is merely made out of saliva. Yes, saliva indeed isn’t a simple liquid, it contains many enzymes. But nature has meant it that for every process that life carries out, it carries out in the most efficient manner. Swallow’s saliva is meant for building nests. Nature will not have gone through the trouble of giving it magical properties when its sole purpose is to build nests. That would be a waste of energy. Secondly, what does it mean when people say that it “improves blood circulation”? Exactly what do they mean when they say that? Does it mean the blood flows faster? Or does it imply that your cheeks seem more flushed after consuming bird’s nest? Does it mean your heart beat faster?
If a person gives you a box of his dried saliva, and claims that it “improves your health” without telling you specifically how it works, would you pay a handsome price for it? If not, then why bird’s nest? Why do we chinese, who are always proud of whatever achievements we accomplish, so quick to fork out princely sums to buy a box of bird’s saliva?
The only reason why bird’s nest is so vigorously promoted in the chinese culture is because there are many people who build their business and livelihood around it. Thus they have to maintain the myth that we have all come to associate it with. Everytime I see someone get excited because they have bought a ‘superior’ box of bird’s nest, I just can’t help but shake my head and think of how stupid the Chinese race is.
Wow, I did not realise that this entry is getting a little lengthy, so to cut a long story short, I will just list some other things that we Chinese believe in that I feel is absolute rubbish and nonsense. If you have understood and got my drift for the previous two points, then I would presume that you are intelligent enough to understand the rest of my list. However, if you are one of those stubborn Chinese who still fervently believe in all these, then it makes no difference whether I explain the rest of my list to you or not.
3) Saying ‘excuse me’ when peeing onto trees to excuse yourself from the ghost that is located (of all places) at the foot of the tree.
4) Sharks’ fin soup
5) Burning incense
6) The fascination with the number 8. Or for that matter, anything that sounds like 8, or ‘fa’ in Mandarin and Cantonese.
That’s about it for now. If you have read this post, I’d encourage you to leave a comment to tell me what you think.
Here’s one: When a black cat jumps over a dead body (usually in a coffin), the person will become a jiang shi (chinese vampire). Lame shit.
Hilarious Post! =D hahahah!